By Dr. Dace Tapley, DBH, MBA, LPC, NCC

When we dive deep into anxiety, it can be sourced from either a lack of confidence in a situation or activity and/or a hyper-fixation on elements outside of one’s control. When we understand these two sources of anxiety, we can then begin to resolve the source of anxiety as well as the maladaptive behaviors that reinforce the behavior. 

Confidence-based anxiety is the awkward or destructive feeling one gets when engaging in a situation or activity that we do not feel we are capable of handling. This could be a new job, new social situation, or new hobby or activity. People often articulate feeling a sense of imposter syndrome as they see others managing these aspects easily and begin to question themselves and their ability through comparison. 

Control-based anxiety is one ruminates or obsesses on a stress or a stimuli outside of their control to a point of feeling debilitated or paralyzed to take any action on the things or elements within their control. The things or elements inside of their control go untouched leading the person to feel a sense of regret, shame and guilt for not getting what was within their capability completed. This cycle continues as it destroys their self-worth and creates a sense of helplessness. 

Now that we have a good understanding of the two sources of anxiety, let’s explore some ways to address and overcome them. For confidence-based anxiety, the key lies in building your self-assurance and developing a growth mindset. It’s important to remember that it’s okay not to be an expert right away and that every skill can be improved over time. 

Here are some strategies you can use: 

1. Challenge negative self-talk. When you notice thoughts like “I can’t do this” or “I’m not good enough,” consciously replace them with positive affirmations, such as “I’m learning” or “I’m capable of growth.” 

2. Set realistic goals. Break down larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate your progress along the way. This will help you gradually build confidence in your abilities. 

3. Seek support and guidance. Don’t hesitate to ask for help or advice from others who have experience in the area you’re struggling with. A mentor or coach can provide valuable insights and encouragement. 

For control-based anxiety, the solution is learning to let go of the things you cannot control and focusing on what you can influence. Here are some techniques to help you do so: 

1. Practice mindfulness and acceptance. Recognize when you’re fixating on uncontrollable factors and gently redirect your attention to the present moment. Remind yourself that it’s okay not to have control over everything. 

2. Develop a routines and priorities. By establishing a clear structure for your day and focusing on your top priorities, you’ll be better equipped to handle unexpected challenges and stressors. 

3. Cultivate resilience. Embrace the fact that setbacks and failures are a natural part of life. Learn from your experiences and use them to become stronger and more adaptable. 

By understanding and addressing the roots of anxiety, you can break free from the cycle of fear and self-doubt. By focusing on building confidence and letting go of external pressures, you can cultivate a more balanced, resilient mindset. With consistent practice and dedication, you’ll be well on your way to living a more fulfilling and anxiety-free life.