By Dr. Dace Tapley, DBH, MBA, LPC, NCC

The six steps to making sustainable change in life

1: Personal responsibility

2: Fill your cup first

3: Only compete with yesterday’s version of you

4: Seek solutions not band-aids to deal with your problems

5: Always seek a silver lining or purpose in every situation you are in

6: Failures are a necessary step to success, don’t discount them or avoid them. 

Integrating these six steps into your life can indeed pave the way for sustainable change. But how exactly do we go about doing this? Here are some practical insights to help you get started.

First, let’s delve into personal responsibility. This crucial step is about taking ownership of your actions, reactions, and the trajectory of your life. It means acknowledging that you are the primary architect of your existence and that your happiness, success, and well-being are primarily your responsibility.

Practically, this could mean setting clear boundaries in your relationships, being accountable for your mistakes instead of blaming others, and proactively working towards your goals. Remember, personal responsibility is not about self-blame or beating yourself up when things go wrong. It’s about empowering yourself to make things right and to learn and grow from every experience.

Next, filling your cup first. This is about prioritizing self-care and ensuring that your needs are met before you attend to those of others. It’s not about being selfish but rather understanding that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

In practical terms, this could mean setting aside time each day for activities that rejuvenate you, saying no to demands on your time and energy that leave you feeling depleted, and seeking help and support when you need it.

When it comes to competing only with yesterday’s version of yourself, this is about focusing on personal growth and progress rather than comparing yourself to others. It’s about recognizing that everyone has their own journey and that the only person you have control over is yourself.

To apply this step in your life, try setting personal goals and tracking your progress over time. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small, and use setbacks as opportunities to learn and improve. Remember, the goal is not perfection but progress.

Seeking solutions instead of band-aids means addressing the root cause of your problems instead of just treating the symptoms. It’s about taking a holistic approach to problem-solving and understanding that lasting change requires addressing underlying issues.

In practice, this could mean investing time in understanding the root cause of a persistent issue, seeking professional help when needed, and being willing to try new strategies and approaches.

Finding a silver lining or purpose in every situation is about cultivating a resilient mindset and understanding that every experience, no matter how challenging, offers an opportunity for growth and learning. It’s about looking for the lessons and blessings hidden within adversity.

To apply this step, try practicing gratitude daily, focusing on the positive aspects of challenging situations, and seeking out the lessons and wisdom that can be gained from difficult experiences.

Finally, embracing failures as a necessary step to success. This is about understanding that failure is not a final destination but a stepping stone on the path to success. It’s about having the courage to take risks, learn from mistakes, and keep moving forward.

In practice, this could mean adopting a growth mindset, seeking feedback and learning from it, and being willing to step outside your comfort zone. Remember, every failure brings you one step closer to success.